im drinking this country out of the recession.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
