I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
