i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
