What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
