Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
