Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize