Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
