she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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