Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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