Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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