turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
