just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
