I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have aggressive nipples.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
