I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
