playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
