i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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