If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
