I heard we made out
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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