Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
