i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
