My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
