His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
