My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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