I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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