you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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