we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
