remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
jump out the window naked night went bad
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
