He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
