Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize