Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
