Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
ok first of all what the fuck
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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