Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize