Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
