This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
