I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
