Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
