You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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