ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
