I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is it penis luge time yet?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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