ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Found the puke drawer
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
