My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Reggie can tackle my bush.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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