i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
