return my video game
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
