Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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