Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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