I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize