new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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