marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
