you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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