apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
