Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
