DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
