so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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