I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
