We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
