i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
operation harelip BJ is a go
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
