you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
