Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Your cock deserves a montage
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
