Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
