Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The beer is more important than you right now.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize