dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
