im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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