I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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