his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
