i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you will always have a special place in my vag
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Someone shattered a urinal.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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