dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
