goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize