If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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